Letter to my Momma:

This letter was read at my mom's Celebration of Life service on 08/25/12. She called me her little mighty writer, but this was the hardest thing I've ever had to put words to:

My sweet Momma Dearest,

You have always been one of my all-time favorite people to make memories with. I felt like I could be my goofy self with you--you always reminded me not to take myself too seriously and to relax. I'm also forever grateful that you and dad worked so hard to create a comfortable environment for me to grow up in.

Finding the right college was a very confusing time for me, but I'm so thankful you were there, because it created some of our best memories. We went to Chicago, and you had to figure out how to drive in Chicago traffic. We rented a car - that was a poor choice. I wasn't sure if Chicago was the place for me or not, but together we kept finding things with the word "joy" on them, like Joy Cafe and LoveJoy Rd. You told me that Chicago had my name all over it, like a letter signed from God. And you were right. I've been surrounded by some of the most wonderful people on this planet, and you saw me achieve some of my dreams.

I will hold onto the last thing you wrote on my Facebook wall 2 weeks ago: "I love you Joy, and am going to miss your energy and zest for life and love. We made memories this summer and I am so proud of you!!"

I know you were hurting so badly for a lot of your life, but you fought and you taught me how to fight. You always knew the truth in your heart, and you really let God carry you. I'll never understand what you were going through or why you had to go now, but I wouldn't trade the 21 years I had with you, standing by you and fighting, for anything.

Last week, I got you a card that I found at the Trinity bookstore, and it has a picture that you always loved of Snoopy holding on to a tree, almost being blown away but not letting go, and it says "Faith is..." above it. I was going to send that card to you this week, and on the inside I had written "God's got you--don't let go." But now I know that's definitely true, and I am so glad you're not sick anymore.

I'll never forget the way you chased after the little things in life. How you laughed every time you watched Snoopy's Thanksgiving special when he couldn't open all the chairs at the table. Thanks for all the milkshakes, laughs, Royals games, road trips, Facebook encouragement, countdowns, all our dance parties--even though you only had one dance move, for loving me and laughing at me when I called you from college after having too much coffee and pulling an all-nighter, for teaching me perseverance by living it out yourself, for teaching me what my name truly means--Jesus first Yourself last and Others In between, and for all the adventures. I mourn today because you are no longer here with me, but I rejoice knowing you are in the arms of the Great Shepherd now. Thanks for being a wonderful mom.

Ich Liebe Dich,

Joy Joy

Thankful {08-01-2012} for...

August & all that this fabulous new month will hold: spending time with my dear Mr. Forney (t-minus 6 days!), the beginning of my final year of college (insert plethora of emotions here), and reunions with wonderful friends.

Insightful words. I started reading "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp today. It's an honest collection of stream of conscious ponderings from a woman who has long felt the pangs of sin and sorrow. One concept stood out in particular, when she was contemplating the beautiful simplicity of Luke 22:19 ("And Jesus took bread, gave thanks, and broke it, and gave it to them...") The thing Jesus counts as most important in some of his final hours on Earth is thanksgiving. Ann also recognizes ingratitude as one of the primary causes of the fall, and notes:

"As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible" (33).

The more I contemplated these words, the more I realized how much of a attainable, fuller life they beckon. Not a painless life, nor one lived in ignorance. But instead, one that views sorrow in the light of Christ's own sorrow and wonderful Act of redemption, making my true joy and thanksgiving ever so possible.

On a far less serious note, my Santa mug. For providing me a wintery oasis (is that juxtaposition allowed?) away from the 104+ degree weather Kansas has been rockin the past few months. Dakota (this guy) and I danced (because that's one of our favorite things to do) to "Walkin in a Winter Wonderland" together, after I sipped coffee from Mr. Santa's jolly brim.

Samples & pretend weddings! The place Graceanna is getting married at in October had a special wedding showcase tonight, so I went with her and my mommy. There were lots of vendors and food samples (I'm convinced food instantly becomes 10X better when it's free and in precious sample-size). Also, my strawberry was wearing a tuxedo. Seriously, it can't get much better than that. It was fun to explore the place some more and imagine how beautiful GA's wedding will be. The reception hall was even all decked out in pretty wedding things, but GA made me refrain from clinking my knife on my glass to have all the couples in the room kiss--it really felt like I was at a wedding!

Thankful {07-31-2012} for...

Quality bonding time during a multi-generational lunch--My Mammaw, Mommy, and Me

My hilarious Mammaw--quote of the day: "I may be 72, but I'm not going to age as fast as others." Me: "Why not?" Her: "I don't drink, I don't smoke, and I don't hang out with geezers who do!"

The Cantina menu at Taco Bell. The Chicken Cantina Bowl is muy deliciouso, muy healthy-o, and easier on my tum tum than other sketch TB meats (seriously, am I getting old?). Bonus: in my opinion, it's as good as Chipotle (am I allowed to say that?...cue the gaaaaasps)

The nice grocery store customer who took pity on me. My mission: pick a good cantaloupe to eat for din din tonight; The Challenge: cantaloupes in their natural state all look heeedious! I was pretty much making this face in my confused state, and just when I felt crazed enough to ask if there was someway to sample them when an angel in the form of a soccer mom gave me Cantaloupe Picking 101.

Bed Bath & Beyond. My mommy & I were perusing the fancy schmancy china section when I went on a "this is pretty stuff, but holy frijoles these prices make me want to write a letter profusely thanking to the man who invented paper plates" rant. She gave me a humbling look for my sassiness, however; and I did decide when I get married someday, the one piece of fancy china that will definitely be on my registry is this guy. Who knew drinking coffee could get any better?!?

Cinnabon Coffee Creamer. I may or may not have justified making coffee at 9:30 in order to try it. Totally. worth. the. imminent. late. night.

Praise be to God, for all the little things that make this girl smile.

"In everything give thanks..."

Let's try this bloggin thang again--I've been inspired by this godly woman's wonderful blog.

Thankful today {07-30-12} for...

A rare, tearful, and refreshing heart-to-heart with my sweet mommy;

Brownie Batter concretes from Culvers (why are you SO delicious, unhealthy food?);

My summer Nutrition class, for making me aware of my eating habits/informing me that I must sometimes eat other things besides Brownie Batter Concretes;

Real Simple magazine, for getting me excited about closet organization & easy summer chicken recipes...does this mean I'm becoming a legit grown-up?;

Hearing "Beautiful Things" on the radio right when I was tempted to think lies about my life;

A random, thought-provoking talk with co-workers about my "true love waits" decision;

24-hour Olympic coverage, for always making me feel like a champion, even when I'm sitting on the couch eating Wheat Thins.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

I am beyond blessed, humbled, and impassioned by my Father daily.